Choosing To Live With The Loss Of Loved Ones

Drop of TLC For The Week 

Although trained as a transformational life coach, I am speaking today from the voice of experience.  My experiences are based on living, liking and loving 2 precious people, however, what I have to say also applies to those of you that may have had a less than perfect life with the one or ones that you lost.

It has taken me 5 years to get here… after the death of my beloved adult son.  That grieving process was interrupted by the loss of his father, the love of my life for 44 years..

It took me all of that time to figure out a couple of things.  Things that I would now like to share.  Here is the first.  Nothing like stating the obvious, but at some point in your life, you will experience loss.  Obvious, because we know that we are all going to die, but it always  happens to someone else, right?

It is universal and knows no boundaries, real or imagined.  It doesn’t care about the color of your skin, the God you pray to, what gender you love, the size of your bank account, the neighborhood you live in or the career you chose.  It doesn’t care about your routines, your deadlines or your life goals—it will disrupt everything in the space of 1 heart beat and 1 final breath. And yet, all of us are affected the same way and just as deeply by this… it is the ultimate human experience.

The good news is that while you may be emotionally bleeding in public right now, you are not alone.  There are people like me who get you and we have big shoulders.

Allow yourself to feel every feel, to cry every tear and to rage in a controlled, safe place.  This will help you

regain your balance to more easily face your own future.   When you are ready and don’t accept artificial limitations.   If you can, stay open emotionally.  Let people in.

At the death of her father, I told my daughter that I would never be happy again.  That my days would no longer have color & vibrance.  That I would never experience joy, excitement and silly laughter again. 

I had agreed with myself to exist, to get the job done, whatever that was, and to settle for a blanket of gray over my entire being for the rest of my days

Going through transformational life coaching myself I realized if I stayed miserable for the rest of my life.  I could prove my undying love to and for my son & husband.  I was convinced that honoring them meant intentionally depriving myself…  I would show them, I would prove it to them how much I loved and missed them!.

Wow!  Just wow!

And at that moment, I broke free of my self imposed exile from the world.  Did this mean I could also be happy again?  .

Yes.  Yes it does.  Just as death and loss are part of our human experience, so is happiness.  These things are hardwired into our systems.  It’s just that we may have temporarily forgotten how to access them.

When you are ready, I would like to help you remember how to access your own happiness.. 

Contact me so we can talk details. .And then let’s get started. I know I can help!