A Tip For Living With Daily Reminders Of Those We Have Lost

I Empower U Drop Of TLC For The Week

If you have been following my video blog, you know between 2018- 2021 I lost my beloved son and husband.  Since then, I have realized how the normal tasks of living each day with 2 other people can become painful reminders of their loss.  For me, the most important of these has been:

Performing daily routines

Hearing favorite songs

Watching favorite TV shows or movies

Passing by familiar places

And of course,

Holidays,

Vacation times,

Anniversaries,

Birth and death days. 

Excruciatingly difficult in the beginning, the hard begins to fade, but I suspect it will always be there to some degree. 

Here is how I have learned to go through these times:

I learned transformational life skills. 

And I also use the following technique:

When you are reminded about a time you have spent with the loved one you have lost and it makes you sad:

Intentionally turn away from it, physically and/or mentally.

Next, search all of your memories and pull out a happy one.  Don't worry, they will be there, usually hiding under those sad ones.  These could be related to the holiday, the anniversary dates or just one of those ordinary moments.  It could be a distant memory, or one that is fresh and newer.  It doesn’t matter, just let your mind land on the first happy memory you find. 

If you have not had an ideal life with the one or ones you have lost, this technique will still work with minor adjustments.  Instead of looking for happy memories with and involving that person, think about the times in your own life where you triumphed in any way. 

Examples of this would be:

Memories of when you

Felt peace and calm

Joy and laughter

Or when you

overcame an obstacle,

figured out something profound for yourself,

created something wonderful for yourself or others.

No matter your situation, and after you have selected your happy memory, feel all the feels, let the remembered sights, sounds, smells and actions roll through you to replace and fill up all those hurt places that were left behind.  Don’t worry, there will be room!  Let the peace, calm, pleasure and enjoyment of that memory fill you to overflowing, holding those feelings inside until all of you is warmed and comforted.  Take all the time you need.  Add more memories if you must. 

Remember that you can pull all or one of these same memories out any time you need to use them in this same way.

 And when you are ready, I will be here to guide you in learning those transformational life skills. 

Contact me so we can talk details. .And then let’s get started. I know I can help!